Insightful Statuses

I hate when men's restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
For those of you wondering what it's like to be married, I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing a cast.
I really wish the dollar store would start selling gas.
Ke$ha: weak music choice, strong password choice.
I want a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
Step 1: Buy a 3D printer. Step 2: Print a 3D printer. Step 3: Return the 3D printer.
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