I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
I'd watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
If dentists make their money off people with bad teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Facebook is basically people you don't like wishing people you don't know "Happy Birthday!"
A great thing about Indian food is that the next day I get to read twice as much!
I'll never understand how I get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lumps move around
Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...