I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
Balloons are so weird. "Happy birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath."
I don't have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn't apply itself.
Amigo
I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
When it comes to Middle Eastern countries, the US is like that girl who dates bad boys because "I can change him."
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Took three flushes before it went down. Next time I'll make sure the fish is dead.