I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it's from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!
I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die on Wednesday.
I don't care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
US declares war on some other country, Americans urged to keep shopping and not worry about it.
Becoming an adult is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done.