I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.
Due to tonight's lack of sleep, tomorrow is canceled.
Amigo
Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.
If I were a cannibal, I'd work at a tanning salon. That way my dinners would cook themselves.
I really love all the new features in Adobe Reader's eighth update today.
2013 me can't believe 2005 me actually knew 8 people I liked enough to put in a MySpace Top 8.
Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name.