I had a girlfriend who was narcoleptic. She claimed she got it from me. But, God knows how many guys she slept with.
Some people fill their car tires with nitrogen, but I prefer helium. It doesn't help mileage but when I have a blow-out it sounds funnier.
I've been trying to fill my head with information. Fortunately, there's plenty of empty space for it
Me, trying to explain to my daughter what a jukebox was: “You know, kinda like an 800-lb. iPod.
When life gets you down, remember, At least I am not dumb enough to follow a striping truck down the highway AS IT PAINTS YELLOW LINES, ride the FRESHLY PAINTED yellow line & then be shocked there’s yellow paint on my car.
I just discovered that I can power all my appliances with the perkiness of that girl in the Progressive Insurance commercials.
So I turned my phone onto “airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!