Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere. - Doorknob
Without coffee, I'm just a really tall 2 year old.
I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.
People die every year in vending machine accidents. How are we still at the top of the food chain?
Jay-Z basically makes 4 minute radio commercials for watches, cars and clothes.
Timothy Smith
I got arrested for growing weed in my back yard, but I was framed. The evidence was planted.
I'm convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.