Good news: Tim Tebow got a job with the Patriots. Bad news: He's now associated with the word "Patriot" and is being audited by the IRS.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
Escalators can never break down, they are only temporarily stairs.
Compromise - An agreement whereby both parties received what neither of them wanted.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant
My ex is going to make someone very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.