Insightful Statuses

Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
I'm gonna offer my boss some of my Top Ramen everyday until he feels sorry for me and gives me a raise.
With all the technology today, how is it possible that the "mullets make you look like a total tool" message has not made it to all people?
Please, everyone, listen to the first 30 seconds of Ke$ha's 'Blah Blah Blah' then lower your head in a moment of silence for my generation.
Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
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