Nolan
When you put your hand out the window on the highway, make sure you're making a fist. That way, when a bug hits your hand, you're actually punching it at 70 mph.
I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes
I was just forced to use "Almond Milk" in my cereal. "Do almonds have teets? Where in the hell is almond milk from?"
I'm at an age where when I see a guy with a hot body and I think, "Man, I just want to place a sleeping infant in those arms and go take a nap."
Cris
Nothing says "My life isn't going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal-Mart at 1am.
Cris
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I'm married to him it doesn't mean I have to like him, right?
Cris
I'm pretty sure that if I'm shot through the heart and you're to blame, whether or not you give love a bad name is low on my list of priorities