Cyberbilly
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
If I start to spell your name the right way, please don't interrupt me with whatever wrong way your parents chose to spell it.
If you want something to be misinterpreted, post it on the Internet.
Someone needs to make an app that alerts you every time your girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice.
Unlike the Super Bowl, my blackouts are brought to you by Captain Morgan.
ProX
How do you get holy water? Burn the Hell out of it.