Insightful Statuses

I just dropped a horrific fart in the apple store everyone's pissed but it not my fault they don't have windows
You don't know how difficult it is searching for your ex's killer. You spend every single day looking and every night hoping that, one day, just by chance, someone will do it.
#3165
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Cyberbilly
Congress is NOT spending money like a bunch of drunk Sailors. Drunk Sailors stop drinking when they run out of money.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.
I tried having phone sex, but the holes are too small.
iTunes has it all wrong, I'm the hottest single of the year.
#3169
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Cyberbilly
Remember: No matter how bad your life is, there is someone who has to clean the bathrooms at Taco Bell.
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