My doctor checked my fitness level and said I was getting atrophy. Where should I put it? I never got a fitness award before!
What do you get the person who has everything? A round of aggressive antibiotics is probably a good place to start.
Cyberbilly
"Don't worry! I won't kill you!" is not a good pickup line when you meet a woman while jogging.
Cyberbilly
The Christmas economy depends on people buying possessions to celebrate the birthday of a man who denounced possessions.
Cyberbilly
My Smart Phone has more computing power than NASA did in 1969 and they went to the moon. All I do is play Angry Birds. Yes, I'm an underachiever.
Cyberbilly
The answer to the Westboro Baptist Church protests of military funerals is to aim the 21 gun salute at them.
Cyberbilly
One thing life has taught me is that trying to please everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.