Insightful Statuses

I went to the doctors today because every time I drink tea or coffee I get this terrible stabbing pain in my eyes. He advised me to try removing the spoon from the cup.
#2733
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Austin Mulka
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months!
What'sthislongbaronthekeyboardfor?
#2735
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Austin Mulka
America: Gets called fat and stupid by all nations, beats the crap out of them in the Olympics.
#2736
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Austin Mulka
No matter how big or bad you are, when a two year hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
After all these years, I'm beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn't want to be found.
I wouldn't ever want lesbian parents. I'm not homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
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