I hate when things take forever and a day. I don't mind waiting forever. It's that extra day that kills me.
See a doctor? Yeah right. If wanted to be told that I'm too fat, I'd post my picture on the Internet.
Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Why do they teach us algebra? Only pirates need to know how to find X.
Don’t take a date to an Olive Garden because when you’re there you’re family, and that’s weird/illegal.
I hate when women say their body is "shaped like a Coke bottle" and fail to mention that bottle is a 3 liter.
Like if you are the sort of person who annoys their friends with "Like if" statuses!