Maybelline makes eyelashes look four times larger? Maybelline needs to start making condoms.
If you ever buy a large TV, remember to put the box in your neighbor's trash can so they get robbed and not you.
Peeing on trees is a dog's Foursquare.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? I don't know how you manage to breathe through that thing.
There is a button on my oven that says 'stop time'. I am pretty sure it means 'stop timER' but I don't push it just in case.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it's just that yours is stupid