Tomorrow, I'm going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got!
To see a real 3D movie, watch a play.
Pandas are Black, White AND Asian.
A Sharpie sees more bathroom walls and sleeping people's faces than it does paper.
My doctor prescribed me medicinal marijuana to treat constipation. He told me to shit or get off the pot.
I am dyslexic, I walked into a bra
Note to self: A cops' favorite two words are; "Make Me." avoid these next time.