I always say, your laundry is never completely done, unless you do it in the nude. (Which probably explains the strange looks at the laundrymat this afternoon.)
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts, and your face looks tasty.
Michael Mendoza
Nothing sucks more than tha moment during an arguement when you realize you're wrong.
Cyberbilly
Confucius say wife who keep husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
I couldn't figure out how to get my seat belt in, but then it clicked.
I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!
I heard a good Chris Brown joke but I can't remember the punchline.