Insightful Statuses

The world's most masculine conversations are by two men holding expensive purses while their women are shopping.
What's another word for synonym?
If fake tans make you look more attractive then logically so will rolling your naked body in Cheetos dust.
If a vampire bites a zombie, will it turn into a zombie or will the zombie turn into a vampire?
Horror is bad, horrific is bad. Terror is bad, terrific is good? Did I miss something?
California leads the nation in pot production and BigFoot sitings. Coincidence? I think not...
The maintenance dude has no teeth. Aren't those easier to maintain than a whole building?
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