The "i" before "e' rule is weird.
The one who laughs last, simply didn't get it.
When I have kids I am going to show them the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that.
Don't ask me what I'm going to order at dinner. I won't know until I know what you're having.
Santa is the only one who can say that he's watching you without sounding like a stalker.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except for you.
Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice.