God must love stupid people. He made a lot of them.
I think I was mistaken when my boss told me she liked to see me hard at work.
Darkest: the exact moment you’re trying to find your seat at a movie.
Leaving your turn signal on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.
Words with Friends sounds so hard. Not the words part, the friends part.
Relationships are like farting, if you push to hard things can get messy real fast.
Tim Tebow has been traded to the Jets. Every time he gets on one knee in New York, he'll be praying that he doesn't get mugged.