Insightful Statuses

I'd offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
When I was 17 I thought my parents were the stupidest people in the world. At 21 I was amazed at how much they had learned in 4 years.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it's the alarm clock in the morning.
The "check engine" light came on, so I did. Yep. Still there.
Lazy is a strong word. I prefer to say that the stars are reaching for me.
Apparently when my wife said she wanted me to warm her up in bed, she didn't mean "Dutch Oven". Hello couch.
When I see a reality show, I can't decide which sucks more. Reality or the show.
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