Kids in back seats cause accidents. Accidents in back seats cause kids.
Chuck E Cheese's is just a casino for little kids...
I'm not crazy, everyone else in the world is just boring.
Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you're suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.
I wish there was a way to get a restraining order against Mondays.
English teachers put more thought into novels than the authors do.
For all those who answer "how's it goin?" with "can't complain", please review your Facebook statuses