I’m on this new diet called the stomach flu. I’m never hungry! And the weight is pouring off, I mean out of me.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and immediately regretted that decision as there weren't any gas stations.
I live every day in fear of accidentally becoming an internet meme.
There are some things you just shouldn't do for a Klondike Bar...
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can't remember what they are.
If people labeled themselves doctors as quickly as people labeled themselves writers, we'd all be dead.
It’s scary to think nothing can kill that 0.01% germ.