I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over
I was gonna tell a hoarding joke....but I think I'll keep it to my self!
The beer diet is not very good for losing weight. However, if you wanna lose a wallet, phone, or girlfriend... it's perfect.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Circles are completely pointless.
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes
Actually, a lot more terrible minds think alike.