Today is the more welcomed VD.
You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on Facebook. Why does looking at them make me the weird one?
You think 7 years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
I use Siri so infrequently these days that when I talk to her it's noticeably awkward, like running into your ex.
When are they going to come out with a Valentine’s Day condolence card? “Dear Valentine, I’m sorry I’m your Valentine.”
Welcome to the internet, where men are men, women are men, and pre-teen, bisexually curious, damaged and vunlerable girls are also men.
I don't know what's more depressing, a sign twirler who's lazy or a sign twirler who's really into it.