Football is the only time you can feel manly while wearing spandex capri pants.
Trying to lose a little weight so my pants aren't so tight. Never thought I'd be trying to get into my own pants...
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning.
I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
It's so quiet in here I can hear myself think. No good can come of this.
There should be a body shop called Auto Correct.
Pretty sure i could never defuse a bomb seeing as I can't even properly eject a USB device from my computer.