You are not Pinocchio, lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hard to go on living when I realize Snooki met my life goals of losing weight and becoming a best selling author before I did.
I get in trouble because there are only two kinds of secrets, those that aren't worth keeping and those that are too good to keep.
I'm rapidly approaching the age where I will be asking myself each new year, which will I break first? My resolution or my hip?
I drink too much, I smoke too much but honestly, I'm halving the time of my life.
Life's too short to safely remove a USB.
So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done.