They named them oysters because sea loogie didn't sound appetizing.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them.
I bet the minivan industry hates the condom industry.
I've had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car.
The only person whose trouble are behind them is the school bus driver.
Trying to look like I'm interested in what someone is saying is often the most strenuous thing I do all day.
2011, a year where an NFL lockout lasts longer than a Kardashian wedding.