When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Leron Tonge
I don't always wake up early without an alarm, But when I do, it's a weekend.
Leron Tonge
I don't always keep people in suspense, but when i do,
nowayitsjoshk
Blue-tooth: (noun) An exterior device worn on the ear to let crazy people who talk to themselves fool others by making them think they are talking to someone real.
I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I nearly killed a cyclist...
The hyphen in the word co-operation makes it seem like the letters can't work together without help.