I saw a sign that said "Deaf Children Drive Carefully". I didn't know they drove at all.
Husband tried to piss me off by telling me he slept with my best friend. I said "Great! Now she knows I lied about the amazing sex!"
Don't forget to wake up that guy from Green Day tomorrow.
Why do people use the phrase "work like a dog" ? I wish I worked like my dog. I would sleep 18 hours a day.
Brenna Mullally
If you watch Jaws backwards it's about a shark that keeps barfing up people so that a beach can be opened.
Brenna Mullally
"Friendship is like peeing yourself; everyone can see it but only you get that warm feeling."
If you're wondering why obesity is so prevalent in the states I have three words for you: Hungry, Hungry Hippos. It trained us well.