Did you hear Superman's been arrested and he can't get bail? They say he's a flight risk.
In heaven I bet they have a version of Duck Hunt that lets you to shoot that freaking dog.
It's so unfair that I have to work while this homeless guy gets to talk on his pretend bluetooth all day.
I'm like the dollar bill that the Coke machine won't accept. Nothing wrong with me. Just been in circulation too long.
"Baby on board"? If you want people to stop tailgating you I would go with "pissed off, roid-raging ninja on board".
Is it racial profiling when a waiter in a Chinese restaurant gives me a fork?
The way I feel when a waiter brings my food is probably similar to the excitement of a dude on Maury who just got told he's not the father.