The only reason I have sunglasses is so that I can put them on after I say something awesome.
I want to make a "Girls of Twitter" calendar but sadly most of them would most likely be men. :(
It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
My grandfather was ½ Cherokee. When he danced, it just got really cloudy...
What do the symbols on bathroom doors look like in Scotland? Stick figure wear kilts for men, longer kilts for the ladies?
Two questions. Why was she making milkshakes in the yard, and was there not a Dairy Queen in their town?
One mans FML is another mans LOL.