I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing the Christmas stockings.
So Abercrombie will pay The Situation NOT to wear their clothes? I don't wear A&F for free; I'm entirely open to being paid for that.
Math questions are so stupid! They're like "If I have 30 chocolate bars and I eat 29, what do I have?" Oh I dunno, diabetes maybe?!
Quentin Tarantino's face looks like he's constantly trying to figure out who farted.
Every time I hear Kenny G playing at CVS it's non-consensual sax.
Nothing makes me feel quite like an idiot than when I find myself trying to highlight and copy text from a JPG.
If 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 2 people at it is a twosome, why is Handsome still a compliment?