Like you've never tried using the Force to reach the remote...
Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in our family. Doctor: No, the problem is no one runs in your family.
I can't imagine how pissed off the crocodile community must of been when they heard how Steve Irwin died. That's like the french killing Osama.
A Dunkin Donuts employee in Rockaway was arrested for hooking during her shifts. Still, I'll be avoiding the creme filled donuts for now.
Whenever I feel like I need to get my stuff together, I remember that MTV is 3 months older than me and still hangs out with 12-year-olds.
Man, I'm getting fat. I don't know how eating all this food is helping those starving kids in Africa but I'm doing my part.
#I #wish #I #knew #how #to #hashtag #correctly