ZYuppi
Nothing you can ever accomplish will make your parents any happier than the first time you slept through the night.
Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something .
Florida
I really need to buy a new toaster. Mine has only two settings: "is it even on?" and "Viking Funeral".
How to cook the perfect amount of spaghetti: Step 1. Remove from box how much you think you need. Step 2. Eliminate half the amount you thought you needed. Step 3. Invite a friend over for spaghetti if you want to skip step 2
Xyuppi
Two touchdowns for the US Women's team...too bad they missed that second extra point
Slapping one side of someone’s hand is a punishment. Slapping the other side is a reward.
Xyuppi
I’ve done terrible things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.