Xyuppi
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window
Why the heck do underwear and socks come in resealable bags but potato chips don’t?
I thought the internet was originally created to save time. So what happened?
Just discovered that spilling hot coffee in your lap wakes you up a lot faster than drinking it!
Xyuppi
I wish I had as much closet space as people in horror movies.
A shark eating a human thinking it’s a seal is the equivalent of a human eating a raisin cookie thinking it was chocolate chip.
How the heck does my “aged 9 months” cheese go bad after a week in my fridge?