As a kid you avoid swearing in front of adults. As an adult you avoid swearing in front of kids.
My debit card is starting to feel like a gift card. "Not sure how much is on this, but we'll give it a try."
Xyuppi
It would be awesome if we had an alarm clock that puts us to sleep instantly at a certain time instead of waking us up.
Xyuppi
Every time I go to Taco Bell I get diarrhea. Perhaps next time, I should get tacos.
It may be time to start exercising . Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying for the summit tomorrow.
Jon
Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.
Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.