Funny Statuses

Actual male human just asked if he could lick the bottom of my shoes. I mean, I know they're Charlotte Olympias but WHOA.
I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
The problem with always dating "bad boys" is that they rarely turn into "good men"...
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
There is always a little truth behind every “Just kidding” A little knowledge behind “I don’t know” A Little emotion behind “I don’t care.”
A Grudge is a heavy thing to carry
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