Funny Statuses

Craft time with the kids. One just ate enough glitter to crap a Lady Gaga costume.
Lord Voldemort's nose was longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.
Every kid today wants to be Batman, Superman, or Spider-Man. Personally, I blame the parents. If parents were better at parenting, maybe their kids wouldn't want to be orphans.
If swearing is immature, why is it referred to as 'adult language'?
#3023
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Cyberbilly
Why do anti-depressants carry the warning "May increase thoughts of suicide."?
#3096
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Kyle Kestler
Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but it's still on the list.
#3142
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musa ayvazov
Its embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasnt sure how to spell, and yes I Googled embarrassing.
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