Xyuppi
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Xyuppi
If we are ever in a situation where I am the voice of reason, then we are in a very very bad situation.
Every time I'm put on hold for longer then 10 minutes and a recorded message says "Your call is very important to use!" I cant help but wonder how long I'd have to wait if it wasn't important?
Xyuppi
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Jon
Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.
Going back to the gym is a lot like being born. I know it needs to happen and I can’t stay home forever, but I’m still gonna cry about it.
ZYuppi
Whenever I panic about my eventual death I think "Someday an oldies station will play Ke$ha," and I'm no longer afraid.