Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton.
I’m convinced that most Ikea employees are customers who didn’t know how to get out and just gave up.
Xyuppi
I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn't have to bend over to pick up dog poop.
PizzaDr
I wouldn't mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn't know them all so well.
If I was Columbia Drug Lord. I'd dye the cocaine black then fill printer toner cartridges with it. I could charge double for toner vs charging for just cocaine. Would be legal too!
Xyuppi
I just removed my hard wood floor in my bedroom and found a beautiful carpet underneath.
Xyuppi
So many people are obsessed with vampires these days....who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you.