We just got a fax at work. We didn't even know we had a fax machine. The entire office just stared at it confused.
Xyuppi
Was shopping online at Walmart this morning and got pepper-sprayed.
Jon
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Jon
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos.
Xyuppi
You know you're non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Xyuppi
A real modern miracle would be for Jesus to turn water into reasonable priced gasoline.
Xyuppi
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you're gonna be late?