Robert Zunick
If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.
My mother taught me all about the circle of life. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
On a scale of 1 to Nature Valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?
Robert Zunick
Everybody wants to shine, but no one wants to polish.
Sometimes the best thing about not caring, is knowing that the people who are angry with you are having a far worse day than you are.
It's not easy being a parent these days. Texting in all caps just doesn't have the same impact as good, old fashioned yelling.