My dad told me I should bring condoms to college. When I told him I'm only taking online classes he just winked!
Who decided to call them exes and not stalemates?
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
The people who whine about cell phones don't remember how much pointless staring at people there was in the 1990s.
Robert Zunick
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
Daniel Williams
I about punched my T.V. because I thought Kim Kardashian had a new reality show. I quickly realized I misunderstood what "Hoarders" implied.
There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.