Funny Statuses

I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.

My insomnia is getting so bad that I can't even sleep at work.

I will go out of my way to attend an event if there's a free t-shirt involved.

I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.

A friend of mine just quit his job selling computer parts. He lost his drive.

I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

I used to think I was a man of vision. Now I'm pretty sure they're just hallucinations.