Funny Statuses

I don't own a thesaurus, is 'cock meat' a synonym for 'fried chicken'?
#3741
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Blake Young
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!
I imagine death will be like sleeping but without my toddler kneeing me in the back.
A tiny part of me hopes the guy on the Clif Bar wrapper falls.
#4276
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Robert Zunick
Having sex is like playing pinochle. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Ugh I hate airports. The men's bathroom here doesn't have any urinals! Just a bunch of women screaming. Lame.
Mondays should start at noon.
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