Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she's definitely got some explaining to do!
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.
PizzaDr
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
I bet Sean Connery only ever asked his wife to sit in his lap the one time.