Xyuppi
At this rate, even the Chuck E. Cheese's animatronic band will decline to play Trump's Inauguration.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
Xyuppi
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
Tom
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
Tom
Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
Xyuppi
I'm celebrating Groundhog Day by repeating the same crappy day I had yesterday.