Xyuppi
All porn videos should start with 5 seconds music to remind you that your volume is turned up
Getting money for your birthday is like passing ‘Go’ in Monopoly.
Xyuppi
Botox doesn't make you look young, it makes you look like you think you're old.
I don't understand people who take a hundred selfies and then pick the best one to post. I mean how do they roll in real life if they look like the other 99?
Dishwashing liquid...just money down the drain.
Did I miss the Academy Awards again?! Darn that makes like 10 years in a row.
Xyuppi
Don’t ever let someone tell you how many ounces of wine in a glass. You measure that shit with your heart.